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Cruelty is the mentality with which you feel pleasure when you inflict pain or suffering on someone or something else. Sadism is another form of cruelty.
As your consciousness is filtered by your mind — the distorted projection of the brain — you become heavily influenced by it and choose a self-centric path of life, where you give importance only to yourself because you see everything else in separation. You are always in survival mode. You feel others are inferior and less important. You have a tendency to be jealous or envious, and you tend to compete or make conflict with them.
An abusive past — whether from your parents or someone else — can also make you a bully or a sadist who plans to inflict the same level of pain (or more) on victims and feel satisfied. Sometimes, the feeling that you are not being understood or accepted by someone, society, or family can trigger rage and violence, with a tendency to unleash it on the best possible victim.
This article explains what makes people cruel, how cruelty affects both victim and perpetrator, and how the cycle can be broken.
What Cruelty Is
When you live a negatively polarized life, you get used to a strange psychological phenomenon called repetition compulsion — which makes you either more violent or a volunteer victim of violence.
Spiritually speaking, violence in you is the signature that you are not an evolved soul and need repetition of the grade. When you have just graduated into being human from repeated births as different animals, you sometimes find it difficult to adjust to the new system, and you are likely to be easily influenced by a negative network of people. Sometimes the violent, predatory nature is triggered.
What Makes You Cruel
Several factors can contribute to a cruel or violent nature.
Genetics. Genes such as MAO-A, DAT1, DRD2, and CDH13 have been studied in relation to a person's violent tendencies. [SOURCE: Tiihonen et al., "Genetic Background of Extreme Violent Behavior," Molecular Psychiatry, 2015] These genes are associated with increased risk under certain conditions — but none of them is a "cruelty gene." They are risk factors, not destiny. Some research suggests males tend to be more physically violent than females, though this is a statistical tendency, not a rule.
Brain activity. Violence is associated with hyperactivation in brain regions like the amygdala, which is responsible for emotional regulation.
Environment. Uncontrollable negative emotions — anger, fear, frustration — combine with social factors like poverty, unemployment, exposure to violent media, neighborhood or family violence, drug addiction, alcoholism, and access to weapons.
Neurochemistry. The chemicals known as catecholamines are released when you are uncontrollably angry, triggering violent action.
Separation. Violence always comes from the idea of separation. The burst of negative energy inside is so powerful that you become totally senseless and do something violent.
Misperception. Misperception is another important reason behind violence. Humans are a violent species by nature — but can be made nonviolent through proper practice.
Cruelty Is Always a Sign of Pain
People who are cruel are not evil — they are wounded. They are acting out of their own unresolved suffering.
The bully was once bullied. The abuser was once abused. The tyrant was once tyrannized. The cruelty they inflict on others is a reflection of the cruelty they have experienced themselves.
This does not excuse their actions. It does not diminish the harm they cause. But it does explain it. And understanding it is the first step to healing it.
When you see cruelty, look beneath the surface. Look for the wound. Look for the pain. Look for the child who was hurt and never healed. You will always find it. Cruelty is pain turned outward.
Hurt People Hurt People
Those who are wounded, who are unhealed, who are carrying the weight of their own suffering — they project that suffering onto others.
They cannot help it. It is the only way they know to release the pressure inside them. They are like a pot that is boiling over. The pain inside them must go somewhere. And so it spills onto whoever is nearest. This is not an excuse. It is an explanation. And it is the key to breaking the cycle.
Because the only way to heal a hurt person is to love them. Not to excuse their behavior. Not to accept their abuse. But to see the wound beneath. To understand. To have compassion.
When you love a hurt person, you give them the chance to heal. And when they heal, they stop hurting others.
The Cycle of Abuse Must Be Broken
The cycle of abuse is passed from generation to generation.
The abused child becomes the abusive parent. The bullied child becomes the bully. The victim becomes the perpetrator. This is the cycle of trauma — the most tragic inheritance in human history.
It must be broken. Not by punishing the abuser. Not by shaming the victim. But by healing the wound. By addressing the root cause. By creating safe spaces where people can process their pain. By teaching people — especially children — that violence is not the answer. The cycle of abuse is not inevitable. It can be broken. It must be broken. And the breaking begins with you.
Cruelty Is Always About the Cruel Person
When someone is cruel to you, it is not because of you. It is not because you did something wrong. It is not because you deserve it. It is because of them. It is because of their wounds. Their pain. Their conditioning. Their inability to process their own emotions. Their cruelty is a reflection of their inner state. It has nothing to do with you.
When you understand this, you stop taking it personally. You stop blaming yourself. You stop believing their lies.
You are free. You can release them. You can release the pain they caused you. And you can move on.
Power and Cruelty Are Not the Same
The cruel person appears powerful. They dominate. They control. They inflict suffering. But this is not power. This is fear. True power is the ability to create. To heal. To uplift. To love.
True power does not need to dominate. It does not need to control. It does not need to hurt. It is secure in itself. The cruel person is deeply insecure. They are afraid. They use cruelty to hide their fear. They use domination to mask their fragility. They use violence to cover their vulnerability.
Do not be deceived by appearances. The truly powerful are the ones who are kind. Who are loving. Who are peaceful. That is the only power that lasts.
Nonviolence Is the Highest Strength
Nonviolence is not passivity. It is not submission. It is not cowardice.
It is the active choice to refuse to participate in the cycle of violence. It is the courage to stand up for what is right without resorting to force. It is the power to transform an enemy into a friend.
It is the wisdom to know that violence always creates more violence, and that the only way to end the cycle is to refuse to participate.
Mahatma Gandhi knew this. Martin Luther King Jr. knew this. Nelson Mandela knew this. Jesus knew this. The greatest spiritual teachers in history taught nonviolence — not because it is easy, but because it is the only way. The most powerful force in the Universe is not violence. It is love.
Cruelty Destroys the Cruel Person
We focus on the victim. We focus on the harm that was caused. But we forget that the cruel person is also harmed.
They are harmed by the violence they commit. They are harmed by the pain they inflict. They are harmed by the disconnection from their own humanity.
Every act of cruelty hardens their heart. Every act of violence closes them off further from love. Every act of domination isolates them more from connection.
The cruel person is not free — they are in a prison of their own making. They are consumed by fear. They are consumed by anger. They are consumed by their own suffering.
They are not happy. They cannot be happy. Because happiness is found in love, and cruelty is the opposite of love.
You Can Stop Being Cruel
Cruelty is the result of subliminal misprogramming. With a little more focus, you can rewire your brain and free yourself from the colored vision your mind gives you. Practice anger management. Correct your violence through the practice of repentance.
Meditate with repeated positive affirmations that you are peaceful, nonviolent, kind, and compassionate. Your brain can be used as a tool to be reprogrammed.
Get your spirit activated. This is simple, but your focus matters. Use love as your tool to function. The practice is enough to change the course of your life and make you peaceful and nonviolent in a way you have never experienced before.
If you struggle with violent impulses, seek professional help. You do not have to live this way. You can change.
Your Next Step
To overcome cruelty:
- Cultivate self-awareness — notice when you feel the urge to act cruelly and explore what is behind it.
- Practice empathy by putting yourself in others' shoes and considering how your actions affect them.
- Develop healthy coping mechanisms for anger and frustration — deep breathing, journaling, or talking to a trusted friend.
- Seek professional help if you struggle with violent impulses.
- Remember that change is possible. Every moment is an opportunity to choose kindness over cruelty.
Every act of kindness ripples outward. Every act of love transforms. Every act of peace creates more peace. Choose kindness. The world is waiting.